Two and a half years ago I sat on this bench, in the sacred grove, as a brand new missionary. It was my very first day "in the field" and my mind was a blur. I remember feeling excited and overwhelmed all at the same time. "How did I get here?" I remember asking myself. This was never the plan. As I sat on that bench contemplating the reality of the first vision, I had no idea what was in store. There was no way I could have known how Heavenly Father would transform me over the next 18 months. The crazy part was that it never felt like it was "about me"; it was always about someone else.
One year ago I sat on this bench on the LAST day of my mission. My heart had been changed. "When you give your heart to inviting others to come unto Christ your heart will change. You will be doing His work for Him...as you invite others to come unto Him you will find you have come unto Him yourself" (Pres. Eyring). Palmyra New York was where I really came to know Jesus Christ. But as I sat on that bench at the end of my mission my feelings were much the same as the first day of my mission...excited and overwhelmed by what was to come. I really had no idea how my plans would change and how I would change over the next year.
Sunday I sat on this bench, no longer a missionary, and reflected on the last two and a half years. One word came to mind, gratitude. Gratitude for what I have experienced, for who I have become, and for the opportunities that have yet to unfold. A year ago my life had a different plan; I never would have believed that I would be in Philadelphia doing a nurse practitioner program at Penn, but now I can't imagine my life any other way. But as I sat there on Sunday, much of the same feelings were there as I thought about this new path. Excited. Overwhelmed. But I guess I've learned that those two variables are the predecessors to happiness and growth. So, bench, I guess I'll see you in one year, a different and a better person.
3 comments:
Life never turns out how we expect. I remember sharing these same feelings you have expressed during the past 4 years. Never would I have picked this pathway for myself, but a wise and all-knowing Heavenly Father knew exactly what I needed. I often feel overwhelmed and certainly unworthy of the life I've been given. We just don't understand our own potential.
I'm so glad you read my blog...even if it is just something you do to distract yourself from hours of studying! I miss MB in my life, so this is good.
What a great post Danelle. I really liked it. It really made me think--and I like those posts. I', lucky to post pictures. Maybe someday I'll take the time to collect my thoughts---even then it would just be a list of routine things I've done in the last two days. :)
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